I did many, well, dumb things as a kid. Maybe no more than the average kid – maybe many more. Who knows. I am pretty sure I have forgotten more than I remember. One I do remember happened on the playground of Sacred Heart Elementary School, in Staples, MN. I am not sure what grade I was in but I do remember listening to the priest at Mass that morning talk about “turning the other cheek.” I am sure he said many profound things but the one idea I picked up on was that if you turn the other cheek, and the person slaps that one too, the person will probably feel bad about it afterwards.

I found that interesting so I figured I would test out his theory. During recess, I approached another student and asked him to slap me in the face. He obliged. I turned my cheek and asked him to slap me again. Once again, he obliged. I then asked him if he felt bad about it. He said he didn’t.

So maybe my little sociological experiment did not turn out the way I had hoped. I do wonder, though, if turning the other cheek has become a lost practice. Watch any pro sports event and most likely you will see at least one example of a player retaliating because of something that was done or said to them. Follow many political campaigns and sometimes retaliation is all you see.

I understand, in sporting events and political campaigns, emotions can run high. Sometimes retaliating makes strategic sense and just ends up costing the player’s team a few yards or a few points or costing a candidate a few votes (or not). Too often, though, the arena and political life gets imitated in real life and not turning the other cheek ends up costing someone his or her life. How many lives have been lost because someone’s “manhood” or “womanhood” was insulted and words escalated to violence?

I am not saying people should not defend themselves or their families or that countries should not protect their citizens. There are some bad people out there who would not think twice about slapping as many cheeks as they can get the backhands on. Those bad people need to be dealt with. I am also not saying the alternative to fighting is fleeing. Turning the other cheek does not mean tucking one’s tail and running away. You can turn the other cheek and still stand your ground. It’s just we do not hear enough about the people who turn the other cheek. They choose to take the high road and all are better for it.

Yes, sometimes people push our buttons and we just can’t take it any more and we get upset. That seems to be one of the defining characteristics of being a parent. I know when that happens to me, I not only lose my effectiveness as a parent, I end up asking myself, why did I show them my buttons in the first place.