…should have curtains.

I know the more accepted completion to the phrase is “shouldn’t throw stones,” but in our house the curtain ending seems more appropriate.

You see, when we first moved into our current house, we decided to take down the old, 1970s-era curtains covering the rather large windows in our living and dining rooms because we would be putting up new “window treatments” when we replaced the windows.

Our plans proved bigger than our pocket books and ten years later – no new windows and still no window treatments.

Because we haven’t replaced the curtains, if people driving by chose to look into our home the picture they might get of who we are would depend greatly on when they drove by. They might see us yelling at each other and think we didn’t like each other. They might see blankets and toys on the floor and papers and crayons on the table and think we are messy. They might see me cleaning up poop and pee off the carpet and think we have not trained our two-year old dog very well.

They would be right – at least partially. We sometimes yell at each other but that does not mean we do not get along and do not love each other. We often have blankets and toys on the floor and papers and crayons on the table because that is where our kids were playing with them. I periodically need to clean up after our dog because… okay, that one is pretty much on the mark.

Still, it is difficult to get an accurate picture of what goes on in anyone’s home from a little snapshot taken as you drive by it.

So why do we fall into the trap of painting a picture of others from the few bits of things we hear, read or see about them, often times, mostly negative?

On a recent Sunday, the priest at my church preached on the gospel in which Jesus, in response to the leaders calling for the stoning of a woman accused of adultery, said “Let ye without sin cast the first stone.” The priest spoke of how easy it is for us to cast stones and tear down others, rather than build each other up.

Those words really struck me because not only do I see the stone throwing every day, especially in the media, but I also find myself participating in it more than I would care to admit.

It’s not that I think we should turn a blind eye to people’s failings, especially in regard to our leaders and maybe even more so with those who are good at throwing stones themselves. I just think we should also look beyond people’s shortcomings and allow them the opportunity to rise above them before we complete our picture of who they are.

So, if you are looking to get an accurate picture of me, here is what I ask of you.

Do not ignore my failings. They are a part of who I am. I promise I won’t ignore them, either. I will continue to look at where I have come up short and do my best to do better in the future. I will still continue to make many missteps.

Do not define me, though, only on where I have failed. Give me the opportunity to define myself by the good I do and give me the opportunity to give you a complete picture of who I am.

I promise to do my best to stop throwing stones. I hope you can do the same.

None of us are without sin and I still can’t afford new windows.