Month: April 2013

No Regrets!

Posted on by Phil Corbett

I must admit, there are times I have taken advantage of people. My selfish interests took priority and the interest of others went by the wayside. I wish I could go back and change things but I can’t.

If anyone reading this is one of those people, please know I am regretful and I ask for your forgiveness.

Taking advantage of parents, though, is a totally different matter.

My wife and I take advantage of my parents and her parents fairly often. On the very selfish side, having a night out without the cost of a babysitter is a pretty good deal. On a more practical level, I often have my parents come help out when my wife is traveling – and help out they do!

As the mother of eight kids, my mom has never been able to get doing laundry out of her system. She is also pretty good at yard work. (To set the record straight, I have told my mom that at 83 years old, it is okay for her to just sit and relax while she is at our house. I just have not been successful convincing her.)

My dad was never one to change diapers (or should I say “never changed one diaper”) but he is amazing when it comes to keeping the attention of kids. Whether he is playing piano or playing cards (or bouncing them on his knee when they were younger), my kids and my nieces and nephews are drawn to my dad.

Taking advantage of our parents, though, is not about making our lives easier. Taking advantage of our parents is taking every opportunity for our children to get to spend time with their grandparents.

Taking advantage of my dad is my ten-year-old son learning and loving card games that have been played in my family for generations.

Taking advantage of my mother is my six-year-old son kneeling by her side while pulling weeds, observing the work ethic she developed as the oldest of three girls on a Wisconsin dairy farm.

Taking advantage of my mother-in-law means my eight-year-old daughter learning you are never too old to laugh and have fun as they have a bubble fight in our kitchen.

Taking advantage of my father-in-law means all three kids walking with him in the woods by his childhood home, learning an appreciation for nature.

Taking advantage of our parents strengthens the link between the generations.

For this, I have no regrets.

P.S.If you like what you read and would like the blog post sent directly to your email inbox, click “Follow” and enter your email address. An email will be sent to your email address with instructions on how to finish subscribing.

As always, you are welcome to share the blog with others through Facebook, Twitter, email or any other means you can think of. I truly appreciate it.

When Evil Attacks

Posted on by Phil Corbett

There is evil in the world. The widely-reported bombings in Boston and Iraq on Monday are testament to that. So are all the other inhuman acts committed on a daily basis throughout the world, though not making it to the front page because they are so commonplace. Yes, I believe there is evil in the world.

I am sure in the next few days, weeks, months and years, people from all aspects of the political and religious spectrums will debate the root causes of all this evil. Some will have more valid arguments than others but no one will be able to claim ownership of the definitive causes. Some will still try.

Right now, though, I am really not all that interested in debating whether evil is a supernatural being or just people choosing to carry out some very horrible acts against others. I am not interested in debating which foreign and domestic policies may or may not have an impact on the occurrence of these evil acts.

What I am interested in discussing is what we can do in response to the evil we see in the world.

My concern is the initial outpouring of support and the pledges of unity will, in time, be replaced by fear and suspicion, thinking that is how we can best protect ourselves.

I think just the opposite needs to occur.

Make no mistake about it – I do believe there are reasons to concerned. I do not wear Pollyanna glasses. I just believe when we let fear and suspicion rule our lives, we invite more evil to enter them.

To me, the response to evil is to spell it backwards – to live!

I am hoping the thought of the more than 50 dead and over 300 wounded Iraqis from Monday’s bombings will encourage, and not deter, their fellow citizens from speaking out and voting on April 20th.

I am hoping in response to the dead and wounded in Boston, the applications to run in the Boston Marathon next year will surpass any previous year.

Instead of choosing to circle our wagons and hunker down, we need to show evil that we will not stop living.

By altering live a little bit, just by one letter, we can find another way to respond to evil – to give. When we open our hands and arms to others, there is nothing holding in our fear, suspicion and anger.

By again changing just one letter of live, we get another way to respond to evil – to love. When we open our hearts to each other, there is no room for evil to take root.

There is no guarantee that by choosing to live, to give and to love any change in the world will occur. But as Garth Brooks sings in The Change (written by R. Wayne Tester and Anthony Arata):

I hear them saying you’ll never change things
And no matter what you do it’s still the same thing
But it’s not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me

I am going to choose to continue to live, to give and to love so those who choose to do evil in the world will know, they will not change me.

The Gospel According to You

Posted on by Phil Corbett

Many people choose to spend years of their lives studying deep-thinking theologians and philosophers to gain greater understanding of the meaning of life.

I listen to country music.

I’m serious. Country music is more than just singing about dogs, divorce, drinking and dying (or trucks, trains, tractors and trysts). Country music is about life, often putting life in its simplest form.

Simple works well for me.

One of my favorite country songs is “The Gospel According to Luke,” written by Skip Ewing. The song tells the story about a homeless man, named Luke, who spends his days collecting coins off the street and sharing the word of God to the people he meets. At night, he shares the money he collects with others down on their luck.

This line from the song sums up his beliefs -“Give to your brother if he is in need. Offer up thanks for the gifts you receive. There’s treasure in heaven for the generous few. That was the gospel according to Luke.”

As someone who likes to share his beliefs on what gives meaning to life, I often wonder if someone were to ask me the question, “what is the gospel according to you,” if that person would see my actions, like Luke’s, reflecting my words. As the saying, “Preach the Gospel – use words sparingly,” profoundly suggests, our actions should state the case for our beliefs much more than our words.

Several years back, what I call “The Gospel According to You” became very real to me. One spring Saturday, my parents had a fire at their house in my hometown of Staples. When I got to Staples the next day, my parents were living in a hotel room with nothing but the clothes on their backs (literally). A few days later they were able to find an apartment to move into, but they had nothing to move into it. I made a few calls to some townspeople I knew, asking if they could help out. The people I spoke with said not to worry – they would take care of things. Three days later, when my parents moved into their apartment, they moved into an apartment fully furnished by the people of Staples and a handful of other people my siblings and I knew.

No words needed to be spoken that day to preach the gospel according to those people. Their actions shouted their beliefs loud and clear.

With that in mind, I am going to do my best these next few months to look for more opportunities to preach the gospel according to me, through my actions and not just my words.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

“Fire the coach!”

Posted on by Phil Corbett

That is often the solution offered to the problem of a team not performing up to expectations, whether those expectations have any basis in reality or not. The carnage coming off most any NCAA Division I sport season is evidence of that.

I know it comes with the territory. Many Division I college coaches get paid big money and if their teams do not achieve the success expected, the coaches often lose their jobs. Of course, many of them find another high-paying coaching job so I am not suggesting we pass the hat to help them with their moving costs.

Still, I do wonder if it is easier to fire a coach because of wins and losses than it is because of their behavior.

I am not interested in debating the hiring and firing of college coaches, though. I would rather focus on coaches who get paid a lot less, if anything at all. Unfortunately, some of the same expectations filter down to the high school and youth sports levels, as well.

With the exception of a few years in the middle, I have coached in some capacity since the mid-1980s, a decade of so of those years as a head coach of a high school wrestling team. In regard to wins and losses, my teams experienced a little success (emphasis on “little”) and a few individuals were able to experience greater success, but nowhere near the success I would have hoped when I started my coaching career.

Early in my career, I thought part of being a coach was being able to yell. I remember one day, as a JV baseball coach in my early to mid-twenties, observing one of my players driving recklessly out to the field for practice. What the player did was unsafe and I needed to deal with it. While his teammates played catch in the outfield, I laid into him “real good” for a few minutes near the pitcher’s mound and it felt good. Later that night, I told my roommate about what happened and how good it felt to lay into the player. He did not say much, if anything, but he gave me a questioning look.

I was too proud to fully realize it that night but that look told me I did something wrong. The next day, when I got to the coaches’ office, the player’s uniform was nicely folded, lying on a chair. At that point, the reality of what I did hit me. My actions led to him quitting the game he loved. Once again, my pride got in the way and I never apologized to him. I do not remember his name so I don’t even know to whom I should even apologize now. I can honestly and humbly say, it is one of the biggest regrets in my life.

I am glad to say my focus changed as I aged. At our pre-season meeting, I would often say to my wrestlers’ parents, “you have given us coaches great young men to coach, our hope is that we give them back to you at least a little better when the season is over.” I still wanted them to experience success on the mat but I knew I would not be happy with the job the other coaches and I did if they were not better human beings after three months with us.

When it comes to wins and losses, there were some seasons I should have probably given my salary back. When it comes to being a part of the lives of young people, though, there is no salary in the world big enough to match the pride I feel when I come in contact with some of the wrestlers I have had the honor of coaching and see the men they have become.

Now, as the parent of athletes, and not as much a coach, I get to sit back and watch other people coach my kids. My behavior as the parent will be reflective of my character and will indicate just how sincere my belief that teaching athletes to be good people is much more important than a good win/loss record. (Not that you can’t have both.)

As my compass, I rely on the example set by the parent of one of the most successful wrestlers I coached. I am sure there were times when he thought I could have done things differently or when he wished we had a better program. Still, after every meet or tournament, he always said, “Thanks, coach.”

I don’t care if it is t-ball, summer rec, a varsity sport or the major leagues, if the coaches are treating my children with respect and teaching them to be better human beings, they better hear me say, and only say, “Thanks, coach.”