I recently attended the funeral of an amazing 25-year-old man, whom I was fortunate enough to know as his high school guidance counselor. I have to say, he had a much greater impact on my life than I had on his. I am not being humble by saying that. Just honest. 

I did not know him well enough, especially in recent years, to do justice describing the man he became, but a church full of people from all walks of life was a testament to the man he became. He was a young man of deep faith. He was a young man who acted on his faith. I would consider my job as a parent well done if my kids turned out similar to this young man.

He was also a young man who was murdered. He was murdered because he opened his door to give a man a glass of water. He was murdered because he chose to help another human being. He was murdered because he put others before himself. He was murdered because he acted in a manner I hope we all would act.

His murder was senseless and it is not worth anyone’s time to try to make sense of it.

That time is better spent giving lasting purpose to his life.

I have heard people describe this young man as “one of a kind.” I would agree. He was one of a kind. 

I have heard people say there were not many people like him. I would disagree. There are not enough people in this world like this young man, but there are many like him. We just do not usually hear about them unless something tragic or unusual occurs. Though people doing good and doing the right things is getting more notoriety through social media, people are still more likely to get their 15 minutes of fame, or unfortunately more, through actions most of us would never want someone we cared about to do.

So if there are not enough people like this young man in the world, we cannot blame society, the world, the Democrats, the Republicans, the liberals, the conservatives, the left wing, the right wing, the ________ (you fill in the blank). 

Instead of trying to place blame, let’s place responsibility. We need to stop what we are doing, walk to the bathroom, look in the mirror and honestly answer some questions, as a society and as individuals.

What kind of people do we cultivate?
We trash the more respectable athletes who do not perform up to our expectations while we make excuses for the high-performing athletes with poor behavior. We make celebrities of people on reality shows, not for what they have contributed to our culture or society, but for behaviors, actions, and attitudes that end up glorifying what is wrong with our culture and society. We are more likely to share a video or story of someone doing something embarrassing or dehumanizing than we are of someone doing something positive and uplifting. Is it any wonder why we do not have enough people like this young man in this world? 

Am I one of those people I want more of?
What made this young man special and one of a kind was not as much who he was but rather how he chose to live his life. This young man was a brilliant student and became an engineer. How he lived, though, did not take great intellect; it only took character and courage. If I want to see more of his behavior in the world the first thing I need to do is make sure that same behavior is coming from me.

We can and should be angry that his life ended way too soon. We can and should feel immense grief for his family and for those who knew him. We can and should give purpose to his life by doing what we can to make sure there are more people like him in the world.

We are reaping what we sow and cultivate. We will continue to reap what we sow and cultivate. If we do not like what we reap, it is time to sow and cultivate something else.

Instead of pointing my finger outward, I choose to start with me.