Fatherhood

Now Hiring: Husband/Father

Posted on by Phil Corbett

A few Februaries ago, while lying on a beach enjoying a trip my wife earned (another fact to prove I out-punted my coverage when it comes to marriage), I took the time to read Tony Dungy’s book, Quiet Strength. I was inspired reading about his life, from his time growing up in Michigan to his coaching of the Indianapolis Colts to a Superbowl win in 2007, and how his faith guided him through the triumphs and tragedies he experienced.

He wrote a lot about being a husband and father and the one line in the book that struck me the most was – “How would your business do if you spent the amount of time on it that you spend on your wife and family?”

Since I do not own a business, I prefer to think of it this way – “Would I be fired if I spent the same amount of time and effort at my job that I spend on my family?”

That passage, and my translation of it, has definitely had an impact on me. Do my actions and priorities show my family that being a husband and father is important to me? Sure, there are always necessary commitments that take time away from my family but what about the less necessary commitments? When I am at home, am I present to them or am I preoccupied with less important things?

Of course, being a husband and a father should be viewed as much more than just a job, but if it was a job that included periodic reviews and documentation in a personnel file, I am confident, as with most husbands and fathers, my file would be fairly large, with many positive reviews and many notations of areas in need of improvement. I am grateful that through God’s grace, the letters in my personnel file detailing the many mistakes I make as a husband and father end up getting run through God’s industrial-sized shredder.

Unfortunately, some days my job performance as a husband and father fluctuates a lot more than I would like it to and as I sit here re-writing this while I review the mistakes I have made recently, I can only hope my wife and kids have a shredder, as well.

When the shredding is complete, if all that is left is a short paragraph on my job performance, I pray it goes like this:

Philip John Corbett has the necessary skill set for the position. He shows passion and energy as he carries out his responsibilities and exhibits overall competency. He appears to love what he does. He does make mistakes, oftentimes repeating the same ones, but that can be expected as this is his first time holding this position and no job description or orientation training was provided.

In summary, he has shown improvement since last year’s review and really tries to do his job well. It is our recommendation that he be allowed to continue as our husband and father.

Kelly and the Kids

Additional note: We really like him!

Lives becoming Legacies

Posted on by Phil Corbett

A handful of summers ago, I had the pleasure of attending three weddings and two funerals. Yes, you read that right – it was a pleasure attending the funerals. At the weddings, I shared in the excitement of the possibilities of the new couples’ lives together. At the funerals, I shared in the celebration of lives well lived. One funeral was of a 73-year-old man, married for 53 years, father of 12, grandfather of 26, great-grandfather of one, who died after a several-year battle with cancer. The other was of a 91-year-old man, married for 64 years, father of 11, grandfather of 22, great-grandfather of 38, who died after living a long life. Sure, there was sadness at each funeral, but the stories shared were more of joy and pride stemming from the impact these two men had on the people they encountered.

In the age of the Internet and 24-hour news channels, we are continuously exposed to the rise and fall, and often, the rise and fall again, of public figures our society idolizes and emulates. These two men, men of deep faith, character and strength, partnered with women of equal faith, character and strength to leave legacies surpassing those we hear about nationally, without the scandal.

These were not perfect men. They were ordinary men with faults just like the rest of us. What makes them worth emulating, though, was their commitment to their families. They were content to play the supporting role, allowing and encouraging their children to shine. They did what it took to provide for their families, one taking many different jobs throughout his life, the other working in the same career for 38 years. They instilled these values into their children and now the children, and grandchildren, continue to add to these legacies.

They may never have made the national news and if you Googled their names, you would not get many hits. I have been blessed, though, to have grown up with the children of the first man and to have married a grandchild of the second, and I feel very fortunate to have been impacted by the legacies of both. I can only hope to do my best to live as well as these two men did.

One side note: If you haven’t read my blog entry from Wednesday, I recommend reading it just to get a sense of what the families waiting to adopt children from Russia may be experiencing as the possibility of Russia enacting an immediate ban on all adoptions of Russian orphans to Americans. My thoughts and prayers go out to those families, hoping their stories turn out as well as “Little Z” and his family’s did.