fathers

My Favorite Eulogy

Posted on by Phil Corbett

Throughout my many years of being single, I had the opportunity to have many different roommates (some much more different than others).

Two of the most decent human beings I was fortunate enough to call roommates are Alex and Dan Schleper. The first time I was invited to their parents’ home for dinner I found out why. When people talk about small-town values, they are talking about Alex and Dan’s parents, both of whom grew up in small towns in the central Minnesota area before moving to the bigger city of St. Cloud.

When their dad died, Dan gave the eulogy at the funeral and, I must say, it was the best eulogy I have ever heard. With Father’s Day in mind, I would like to share a slightly shortened version of the eulogy with you today.

If I KNEW I would live to be 90, I would want it to be at a time of great world events and at the beginning of an era of great innovations and wondrous advancements in all areas.
I would want to live in a time of great baseball players in their prime like Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson, Mickey Mantle, Harmon Killebrew, and Kirby Puckett.
I would like to live in a time of Woodrow Wilson, FDR, JFK, Martin Luther King, and John the XXIII.

If I KNEW I would live to be 90, I would expect times of great sorrow to test my faith and character but which would also make me appreciate the joyful times.
I would like to come from modest beginnings to teach me how to make do, but also help me appreciate bountiful times.

If I KNEW I would live to be 90, I would like to grow up with a large family that has Christian values which would provide a moral compass and purpose to my life that would stand the test of time, rather than that of dissipation and aimlessness.
I would like to play baseball with my brothers.
I would like to learn an instrument… maybe an accordion.
I would like to help create something enduring, like a baseball field, or a baseball team.

If I KNEW I would live to be 90, I would thank God every day for the opportunity to do so.
I would carry a rosary.
I would like to serve my country and see some of the world.
I would like to be married by about 30 to a more worldly woman from a much larger metropolitan area… like Richmond.
Waiting till my later 30’s would be ok but it would have to be someone 9 or 10 years younger than me, smart, good looking, a card player and an award winning baker that makes the best pies in the world. Ok, maybe, that’s asking too much. Who could be that lucky?

If I KNEW I would live to be 90, I would like to have 4, or maybe 5, kids. It would be nice if at least one was a boy. I would make the commitment to send them to catholic schools no matter what. We would get on our knees and pray every night, and if the neighbor kids were still around, they would be welcome to join us.
I would want the respect of my coworkers and good friends.
I would want to dance with my daughter and play golf with my sons, brothers, nephews and nieces.
I would like to have a hole in one.
I would like to watch my sons, grandsons and nephews play baseball. Who am I kidding? I would like to watch ANY local high school, college or amateur team play ANY sport.

If I KNEW I would live to be 90, I would like to go to Casinos every once in a while with my wife and maybe some family or friends just for the fun of it.
I would like to bowl until I can’t break 150. I would like to golf until I can’t hit it 150.
I would like 8 grandkids to be proud of and to visit me often.
Yea, that would be a pretty good life.

If I live to be 90, I would love it if someone said at my funeral “He was a lot like his father.”

I would say I had lived a good life if the same could be said about me at my funeral. More importantly, I hope the same can be said of my two sons when they pass. I can think of no better testament to my job as a father.

I know the reality is not always as positive. There are many men who would consider it an insult, and rightly so, to be compared to their fathers.

Still, though the specifics of the eulogy would be different, the character, integrity and goodness Alex and Dan’s father displayed throughout his life should be emulated by all men, whether they are fathers or not.

Please Don’t Tell My Wife This

Posted on by Phil Corbett

Please don’t tell my wife this – I like it when she travels for work. It is good to have her out of the house for a while.

Did I just say that?

Some of you who know me are thinking I should drop the shovel while I can still climb out of the hole I am digging, but you would also know I am not wise enough to do that. So before the hole becomes a grave, I better explain.

You see, I become a better parent and my kids become better kids when my wife is gone. Okay, that doesn’t sound quite right either.

Let me start from the beginning.

My wife and I have been married for 12 years. We have three children, ages 11, 8, and 6. When our oldest son was born, my wife became a full-time, stay-at-home mom. When he was about 10 months old, my wife recognized a need to get out and interact with other adults and, therefore, started her career in direct sales, doing home parties and educating people on the value of educational toys. This meant leaving the house a handful or more evenings a month for parties and other events and traveling to trainings and conventions several times per year.

That is what made me a better parent. Actually, my wife leaving made us both better parents. How? For me, it forced me to trust myself as a parent. It forced me to rely on my own skills, rather than relying on my wife to handle things like she would all day. It forced me to figure out more things to cook for dinner, though, pancakes and frozen pizza were perfectly acceptable and very popular for a long time.

For my wife, it forced her to let go of the notion that her way of doing something was the only way to do it. (Still, her way was usually the best, most effective, and, at times, the safest way to do something). This letting go also took some pressure off of her because we were able to be equals as parents, which, as she found out when she traveled to some homes, was not the case everywhere.

My wife leaving was also good for the kids. Our kids got to see their amazing stay-at-home mom get dressed up to also go be an amazing and confident career woman. They got to see her earn trips to wonderful places (which they got to experience only in pictures) because of how good she was at her job. They got to see that though her family was the most important thing in her life, just as with their daddy, it was not the only thing in her life that defined her.

Since last April, my wife has been working on the corporate side of direct sales, training and coaching others. She still works mostly from home but is traveling more often and for longer periods of time. She just recently returned from being gone for five days at a conference.

Once again, it was great for us. I enlisted the help of my parents and my kids got to spend some wonderful time with their papa and grandma. But there was more to it this time. I realized that when one of us or both of us is gone, our kids rely on themselves and each other a little more and grow up a little more. They also miss us a little more and appreciate us a little more. The looks on the faces of the kids and their mother, as they reunited at the airport, were evidence of that and truly priceless.

One last thing, when my wife travels for work, other people get to see how amazing she is, too.

Yes, I do like it when my wife travels for work but I love it when she is home.

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