If you Google “four questions in life” like I did, the first page of your search results will most likely consist of some information about Don Juan DeMarco, Johnny Depp, a couple of doctors, and a few other more existential offerings.

When I think of the four questions in life, I think of Fr. Don Piche.

About 10 years or so ago, some friends and I were guest musicians at Fr. Don’s church. In addition to getting the opportunity to play music with some very talented people, I got to hear his sermon twice, which was a good thing, because it was excellent. The sermon centered on four questions motivating us at different stages in our lives. I do not remember if he came up with the questions himself or if he was borrowing material from someone else. I don’t even know if I remember exactly what he said anymore. I just know he spoke about the four questions and some variation of those questions has stuck with me since. Here is my variation.

During our younger years, others (usually parents) are responsible for providing for our needs and what is left to influence us is answering the question “Do I have what I want?” As we get older and begin to separate from our parents or caregivers, we take on more responsibilities for our lives and the question most pressing is usually “Do I have what I need?” As we get more settled into our adult lives, accumulating more things and filling up the storage spaces in our houses and garages, we may stare at our “stuff” and ask ourselves “Do I need what I have?” At this point, it is important to ask ourselves the final question – “Who needs what I have?”

Unfortunately, we know not everyone gets beyond the second question. Do I have what I need, or more likely, do we have what we need, is a question many families ask for prolonged periods of time. As someone who grew up feeling like a child on Christmas morning each time a box of hand-me-downs arrived from my cousins, I enjoy going through our family’s stuff and taking a load of it to Catholic Charities or Goodwill. I love the idea of getting rid of clutter. More importantly, I enjoy knowing someone else will be able to use what I have more than I do.

Who needs what I have, though, should pertain to all stages of life. Whether we are five or fifty-five, there is usually something we have that could benefit someone else. It may not always be our stuff, though. Sometimes, just a little bit of our time and effort is all others need from us.

An unexpected result of my post, Making a Difference, was getting emails from my cousins with other stories of the things my grandma did. One story that struck me illustrates this time and effort thought well.

One day a neighbor boy went up to his room with a shotgun and took his own life. While the mother was making funeral arrangements, Grandma gathered some neighbors, some pails, soap, rags and clean sheets to go clean up the mess. When some folks hesitated, Grandma said “there is no way that mom is going to face any more heartache coming home to that terrible scene. She’s going to find that bedroom exactly as it was before he died”. And that’s just what Grandma and others did. Wow!

Yes, often a little bit of our time and effort is what is most needed.