role-models

Thank you, Miley.

Posted on by Phil Corbett

Unless you have been asleep since Sunday or have just chosen to retreat from society, you most likely have heard about the MTV Video Music Awards and the controversial performance of Miley Cyrus. Actually, after watching a video of it online, controversial is way too tame of a word to describe what I saw.

Perverted, filthy, and disgusting come much closer to doing justice.

Whether the performance was a true reflection of the new Miley or just a marketing and publicity ploy to show Miley has grown up, she has definitely made the transition from teen idol to adult sensation. The more the performance is talked about, the more successful she will most likely become. (Talk about perverted.)

To be fair, Miley was not the only one involved in the action. Robin Thicke played a significant part in the performance, as well, but since I had no real idea of who he was until I Googled him and found out he is a pretty big deal currently (and is the son of Alan Thicke from Growing Pains), my thoughts focused on Miley and the changes she has made.

You see, I used to watch, and re-watch, Miley’s Hannah Montana movie and shows with my daughter and truly enjoyed them. I also love the messages in some of her songs, especially The Climb.

Maybe she had to do something shocking to continue to shed the squeaky-clean image she developed as a child star so she could appeal to a wider audience. Maybe the pressure facing a 20-year-old superstar to stay relevant and in the limelight clouded her judgment, along with the judgment of all of her people. I am not excusing or condoning her actions, but since I have no idea of the pressures a 20-year old in her situation is under, I am also not going to condemn her. She chose her actions and will need to live with the results of them.

Instead, what I want to do, and what I think all parents of young children should do, is thank her.

Yes, that is correct – thank her.

Miley’s actions should be a reminder of why we, as parents and other people who care about the well being of young people, need to encourage our children to find role models closer to home and to stop worshiping at the celebrity altar. (I guess many adults could be encouraged to do that, as well.)

I am glad my daughter has not yet been bitten by the celebrity-worshiping bug (unless you count Harry, Hermione, and Ron as celebrities). I am glad she has not yet looked to celebrities to decide how to live her life.

I want my daughter to look to her teachers at school, who, with true passion and little pay, empower our children to learn and believe in themselves.

I want my daughter to look to our neighbor, who earned her PhD while parenting and working from home, and is now empowering teachers to become the best teachers they can be.

I want my daughter to look to her godmother, who helps lead her local Girls on the Run program, empowering girls from 3rd to 8th grade to be emotionally and physically healthy and confident.

I want my daughter to look to her mother, who, after being a stay-at-home mom, working part time in direct sales, successfully jumped into the corporate world and now empowers other women to be successful in business and in life.

With so many wonderful women to influence my daughter on a daily basis, I hope she never needs, or wants, to look to the celebrity world for examples on how to live her life.

My Role Models

Posted on by Phil Corbett

The big news this week was the confession of Lance Armstrong. I have to admit, I so wanted Lance to be telling the truth all those years, winning the seven Tour de France titles cleanly. I was a Lance fan. I watched the TDF because of him. I saw the stories on his training regimen and it encouraged me to get on my bike. I read his book and was inspired by his fight against cancer. I wear a yellow bracelet and admire the work he has done helping others with cancer.

I’m not shocked he doped. Nor am I disheartened. Yes, I was a fan of his but he was not a role model of mine.

For me, the bigger and better news this week came in the form of a video shared over Facebook. The video is about the 2012 Sports Illustrated Kids SportsKids of the Year. If you haven’t seen it, Google it and watch the video. I won’t ruin it for you if you have not seen it but basically the story is about a 9-year-old boy who competes in triathlons with his brother. I dare you watch it and tell me you were not inspired by their story.

Yes, the older brother in the story inspires me but he would not a role model of mine, either.

I believe my role models should be people I know, people much closer to my home – some even in my home. Like my 11-year-old son who has the courage to try new activities, not knowing if he will be good at them or not. Or my 8-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son whose hearts are bigger than their small bodies. Or their mother and my wife (the same person), whose passion for everything she does is infectious.

Some parents at my church are role models to me. They have three boys – all young men now. The oldest two are significantly disabled. The youngest is extremely bright and attending a prestigious college. For how challenging I imagine their life can be, I do not believe I have ever seen either one of them not smiling. They help me keep my life in perspective and remind me of the importance of being positive.

I could list many more role models, all having a trait or two that I admire and want to emulate. I try not to put them on a pedestal because the only direction they have to go from there is down. I am well aware they have faults, though I may not know, nor care to know, what their faults are. Actually, the fact they have faults make them even more of a role model because it means they are human, just like me.

Charles Barkley, former NBA great, was right. We need to stop looking to celebrities for role models and look to parents and teachers (and children, and friends, and neighbors, and you get the point).

Lives becoming Legacies

Posted on by Phil Corbett

A handful of summers ago, I had the pleasure of attending three weddings and two funerals. Yes, you read that right – it was a pleasure attending the funerals. At the weddings, I shared in the excitement of the possibilities of the new couples’ lives together. At the funerals, I shared in the celebration of lives well lived. One funeral was of a 73-year-old man, married for 53 years, father of 12, grandfather of 26, great-grandfather of one, who died after a several-year battle with cancer. The other was of a 91-year-old man, married for 64 years, father of 11, grandfather of 22, great-grandfather of 38, who died after living a long life. Sure, there was sadness at each funeral, but the stories shared were more of joy and pride stemming from the impact these two men had on the people they encountered.

In the age of the Internet and 24-hour news channels, we are continuously exposed to the rise and fall, and often, the rise and fall again, of public figures our society idolizes and emulates. These two men, men of deep faith, character and strength, partnered with women of equal faith, character and strength to leave legacies surpassing those we hear about nationally, without the scandal.

These were not perfect men. They were ordinary men with faults just like the rest of us. What makes them worth emulating, though, was their commitment to their families. They were content to play the supporting role, allowing and encouraging their children to shine. They did what it took to provide for their families, one taking many different jobs throughout his life, the other working in the same career for 38 years. They instilled these values into their children and now the children, and grandchildren, continue to add to these legacies.

They may never have made the national news and if you Googled their names, you would not get many hits. I have been blessed, though, to have grown up with the children of the first man and to have married a grandchild of the second, and I feel very fortunate to have been impacted by the legacies of both. I can only hope to do my best to live as well as these two men did.

One side note: If you haven’t read my blog entry from Wednesday, I recommend reading it just to get a sense of what the families waiting to adopt children from Russia may be experiencing as the possibility of Russia enacting an immediate ban on all adoptions of Russian orphans to Americans. My thoughts and prayers go out to those families, hoping their stories turn out as well as “Little Z” and his family’s did.